A Higher Calling

A Higher Calling-One Firefighter's Perspective

By Bob Firestine

My name is Bob and I have been a professional firefighter for 22 years. I love my job because I get to help people, some of whom are experiencing the darkest and most desperate moments of their lives. I love to be able to show them compassion and concern when they need it most. On July 26, 2001, I had an experience, which was to this point, one of the most trying times of my life. A friend and fellow firefighter at my department was killed in the line of duty as the result of a very bizarre accident. My friend, Kirk, was as nice and as positive a guy as you could ever hope to know. He was a professional member of the fire service, a sincere friend to many and a dedicated husband and father. His death hit me hard. I found myself struggling against acceptance, which made it nearly impossible to put the loss behind me and move on.

I was on duty the morning of September 11th, 2001. I awoke at 6:00 a.m. and telephoned our dispatch center to confirm my station assignment for the day. During our conversation, the dispatcher heard the news that two planes had crashed into the World Trade Center. I turned on the TV, woke up my captain, called home to my wife and son, and then called my daughter, a UC Berkeley student, to let them know that we were being attacked by terrorists. After watching the first few images of the second airliner slamming into the building, my captain, Bill remarked "I'm going to go on record as saying that building is coming down," then he added "I wonder how many firemen are going to die today?" We sat there in front of the TV, sipping coffee, and helplessly watching in silent horror as his observation unfolded into reality.

Because of Kirk's death at our department, only six weeks previous, I knew too well the unbearable pain that the surviving members of the New York Fire Department were suffering. Although I was across the country, my recent emotional wounds were freshly re-opened and I was feeling that I had just lost 300 more of my brothers. They had been murdered, these heroes, the best of the good guys. How could I begin to cope with this tragedy? Once the initial shock began to wear off, that of myself as well as the entire nation and the world, I was compelled to investigate the reason for this terrible event. I watched the news, listened to talk radio, read from the internet, and talked to many people. The best reason that I could determine was that this tragedy was brought on by hatred. With this theory in mind, the first place I looked to find fault was in the mirror. I could see right away that I hated these men, these despicable monsters, for what they had done. This hatred, along with the frustration and grief for all those murdered brothers, felt like a fire burning deep inside of me, all the way to my very soul. This fire was out of control and I, a skilled firefighter, could think of no way to put it out. It occurred to me that I was going to need help, so I asked God to help me.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I began to receive the help I prayed for, but I know that it began to come soon after I asked. After a long dark period, I once again felt love coming back into my life. It felt so good that I decided to cast out the hate from my heart. It wasn't easy by any means, but the rewards were well worth it. I began to see things in a different light, that being the light of Love. However, I could still see much hatred around me. People were busy making allegations and placing blame. Some were blaming the former President, some were blaming the business community and some were blaming different groups of people. From what I could determine, they were just doing it to have someone to blame, so they could channel their hatred to press their respective agendas. I went back to the mirror, then I came up with my own reason for this tragedy; there must be a fire in Heaven. This fire was started by Evil and is fueled by hatred. It started small, on earth, and has reached all the way to Heaven. Why else would God have taken my friend Kirk away from his wife and five-year-old son? It must be burning out of control, because on September 11th God called upon another 343 of the best firefighters on Earth. What will happen if these brave heroes are not able to get the fire under control? If this fire was caused by Evil and fueled by hatred, then only Love can help to extinguish this blaze.

It is easy to hate. You can hate Mondays. You can hate cold coffee. You can hate the person that just cut you off in traffic. Certainly you can hate Osama bin Laden. The great challenge is to cast out the hate, at every level from which it is manifested. Hatred fuels the fires of Evil. Love is the water that will help extinguish them.

Please remember the heroes of September. They gave their lives for this mission. They traded the love of their own families to help people they didn't even know. It was their sworn duty and they performed it proudly. Don't let them be forgotten as they fight the battle for eternity. Honor them with Love, Love for all mankind. It is the only way for them to win the battle.

Bob Firestine

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