Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Final Essay on the course for Dr. of Spirituality: Rev. Loretta Siani
Now usually one writes about the content of a course and what one learns. But my personal experience while taking this course showed me its value to me and what I learned became reality. I share this personal experience as my essay on the power of this thought and what I was able to see in my own case. I hope it shows what I have learned and how it worked through my saga.
So I start by saying I have had an interesting time during the passage of time of taking this course. The lessons learned were complex and I am still dwelling on the elements placed in front of me in the course on Spirituality. For during this time, my personal life has been challenged in my heart. I have lost the life of my hero, my father, who succumbed at 87 years old and my mother was injured in the family home while my dad was fighting for his known life in the hospital. My dad lived long enough at, I hope my urging, to celebrate his 87th birthday and then when at the sickest moment he lived to see in my parent's 65th wedding anniversary one month later.
Now one could ask me what happened during this time and how this course worked for me? Well, an hour before their anniversary day came to be I was with my father at 11:03 p.m. Dad coded and there was a DNR note. However, due to some confusion in the directive, they revived him. I prayed like never before in my life for him to pull through to be able to be alive for he and mom to reach such a huge day of value and meaning for them. Dad was on a ventilator, suffering the beginning of renal failure and he was a victim of pneumonia, heart failure, renal shutting down and blood septicemia, just to mention the most important issues.
Although he was in what was a drug induced state, I held his hand and told him it was okay and that if he wanted to God would let him live long enough to reach such a huge momentous occasion of 65 years of wedded bliss.
Well, I need not tell anyone who has taken this course that I opened my soul to God and told my dad to do the same. The nurses told me they knew he could hear me and he did it, although never opening his eyes. I cleared myself of all self interest and just prayed. And so the miracle was given to me and my parents. Something no one else probably understood or even cared about, but I was granted such through the grace of the Almighty for opening myself to pure love and affection to the most important person in my life and my hero to boot. I did not ask for me, I asked that God give my dad this one gift and miracle when all the odds were against it and he was basically going to leave his human form. Somehow, it happened and he celebrated his anniversary with just me in the room. My mom was in a rehab facility with a broken vertebra as she slipped while alone in their home and dad was in the hospital. So she could not be there to share in this blessed event. With open heart and all love I had, I let God guide my words to my father to hang in to make it to the day he married my mom. There was no reason why this happened. I just prayed and gave myself to God's hand.
Three days later I again was alone in my father's hospital room and he was now in renal shut down and going to die naturally. It was about 2:10 p.m. that I felt something inside while visiting my mother. I told her I had to go and see dad. So I drove the few miles to his room and once again I saw that this was his time to join the life in God's arms. I went to his side and told him to fear not as he was in God's hands now and that he had met his mission of life here on earth and it was okay as he had succeeded at everything he had wanted and it was time for him to find his peace. Of course, this was in prayer, but it was prayer aloud for him to hear and for me again to give of myself and let my dad be given continuing life with God as his holder. I could see that his body was giving up and he took two breaths as I spoke to him and asked him to let God enter his heart to guide him further in everlasting life. Well, there was no fear, no pain and no tears, but he calmly took those two breaths and turned his head a bit and then he was on his way to what stood in front of him forever.
I sat in his room for two and a half hours and the nurses cleaned him up and removed all of the tubes and such. They combed his hair and placed his hands and arms across his abdomen with his wedding ring finger on top of his other hand. I should note that this is so hard to write through my tears as I complete this essay. I was trying to think of how to show what I found out of this course. But, while taking it, the contents found me and provided me with what I needed to handle this process of loosing the most revered person I have ever known.
I prayed continuously for dad to fight when needed and he did so and then I prayed for God to enter his body and cure him of his earthly illness and take him with open arms to his new life. I found the fear I had of seeing him go was nothing. I had prayed for God to help and guide me through the process I was experiencing. I asked for nothing but for God within me to guide my heart and soul/mind to accept this happening. I guess I can say without reservation that the element of the course were not coincidental to my needs for love and to let that miraculously happen. And so it did! I do not know how I was given such strength and guidance, but it came and it came through prayer as the course so indicates and I was given the gift of such. Now it is a month past and I still wonder how I was given such a course and what brought me to take it at the time I did. I did not know in advance hat was waiting for me. I read the course lessons earnestly and took all I could and as things unveiled in front of me I tried my best to use them so I could handle what was given to me. I guess God just decided I needed my miracle and provided me a vehicle to read to help me understand how to find it.
Now I had to speak at one of my dearest friend's funerals back in January when I first started taking the course. I thought I did good for the family of my departed friend and colleague and was given various accolades for such a meaningful tribute to a man who I cared about like a brother. But, I had not yet reached the spot of using it for more and now I find I can give so much more to those in need by prayer and the gift of God's graces within.
So that is my story about this course. I was going to delineate all of the various lines and sections as I found them relevant, but they found their way into my reality and I hope this summary of events in my life, shows the value I found in this course and its contents. I found things about me I did not know existed within and I do believe that miracles can happen through prayer and love… and God gave them to my father, who by the way was not a particularly religious man. But, as these events unfolded, I kept telling him to realize the God and Great Spirit within himself. And, I found the love and miracles in my heart that were there with God within me….
Amen and thank you for this course!
Adam Rocke, Reverend
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