Monday, August 30, 2010
Spirit Quest Essay by Rev. Timothy Spotswood
I found the Spirit Quest course to be very informative and helpful. I have been involved in religious studies for over 30 years and practicing daily meditation for over 20. So when the course starts out with lessons in meditation I decide that since I paid for the course and want to take it seriously I will study the lessons. Although, since I have been meditating for so many years, I am sure they will have some good information for beginners, but not for me. Imagine my surprise when one of the first things I read about is the ‘grounding cord’. I don’t recall ever learning about this wonderful tool. The blowing up roses is a great tool as well but I have used similar things, but I can not stress how much the grounding cord has helped me. So the first lesson learned is to keep my mind open; I might actually learn something if I let me.
For the first half of the course I was doing very well. I was reading all the lessons as soon as they came in, working on the exercises, taking lots of notes. I really felt I was making some good progress. Then, about half way through I took a vacation out of state for a couple weeks, without internet access. I knew I would be a bit behind but could readily catch up, or just stay a couple weeks behind and continue.
Unfortunately when I got back from Disney World I had not only lost my momentum, I had seemed to have lost interest in the course. I just always had other things to do instead of catching up on my reading. After a few weeks of this I decided to try and figure out what was going on. I mean I was really enjoying the course and felt I was doing well. Why would I try to convince myself I was too busy to pick it back up?
After some mediation I realized I had done this before. Many times before. Throughout my life as things start to go well for me, either in a relationship or business things always fall apart. After some contemplation I realized I was doing it to myself. Something would start to go right for me and I would do something to mess it up. As if some part of me didn’t think I deserved to be happy. I tried to determine when this started or how long I had been doing it. I could not come up with a particular event or time but I could almost see myself around pre-school age and knowing I was a bad person.
I know I am not a bad person but the feeling was very hard to overcome. I decided I had to take charge and try to overcome it. So for starters I would finish this course. As I pick up the next lesson imagine my surprise to see lesson 15 Affirmations, then 16 Speaking In The Positive. These two lessons seemed to cover what I had just spent the last two months working on. I am glad I worked on these ideas first because reading the lessons meant much more to me than if I had read them first (and probably just glossed over them)
Life is a journey. I thank you very much for this course and the help it gave me, and will continue to give me on my journey. The end of the course is not really a destination, but more a step in the right direction. I took almost 10 months to make this step, instead of 8. But I have learned patience a long time ago, and I feel it is more important to do something right, not necessarily fast.
Timothy ‘ Tukaram ‘Spotswood
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