Friday, March 02, 2012
1. Explain how I agree/disagree with the Course’s view on forgiveness: I agree with the Course’s view on forgiveness. I had never thought about the “forgiveness of destruction”, however, in my life and my interactions with others I see how the ego keeps us stuck. I know that when I become angry or hurt my ego puts my thoughts on a “hamster wheel” and the negativity goes around and around. I try to jump off the wheel only to find myself repeatedly jumping back on. Each time I jump back on I find justifications for why I feel/think the way I do. It is a relief to know that it is not myself that forgives but God that forgives through intercession of the Holy Spirit. I agree that I worry and blame myself at times for my flaws and at other times my ego inflates my “self-esteem” and furthers my justification for whatever I have done.
Once I justify what I have done related to perceived wrongs I am inclined to do those things again because it “is okay for me to act this way” but “it is not okay for the other to behave in this manner.” What a distraction! What separateness! Years ago I read many books written by an Avatar, Meher Baba. His explanation of life is that we “are all God in search of itself”. He taught that in the beginning God was everything and God was nothing and that life as an individual was created in order that God might know Itself in every way. Therefore, every experience was necessary. This philosophy taught that we need to let go of our mis-perceptions about who we are and to leave everything up to God. I think this week’s Course is underlining this. If we truly are God in search of Itself then it is God who forgives. It is God who lives through us. It is not about us it is about God.
2. Re-write one of my own prayers for forgiveness. “Lord, I have done it again. I have been angry and have lashed out at others. I feel badly about hurting others and yet feel justified at the same time. Please forgive my weaknesses and help me to refrain from hurting others again.” New prayer: “Holy Spirit, Please intercede on my behalf with the Father in granting forgiveness in this situation. Help me to re-member who I Am and to let go of negative evaluations of myself and others. Help me live in Love and Peace. Thank You. Amen.”
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